


Skin Deep

by lilferret



Category: Torchwood
Genre: Angst, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-02
Updated: 2012-06-02
Packaged: 2017-11-06 16:32:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/420977
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilferret/pseuds/lilferret
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He wanted to make sure Ianto was okay.  He was in the habit of caring for himself last.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Slightly AU. Mostly follows canon, but the specific event covered, and its fallout, never happened. Originally posted 5/31/11.
> 
>  **Disclaimer:** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Jack gasped, feeling the pain slice through him as he struggled for breath. His eyes throbbed and his throat was parched, raw. He whimpered, just the simple effort tearing at his damaged flesh, making him claw at his neck, instinct telling him he couldn’t get enough air.

Strong hands closed over his, pulling his fingers away from his throat, enclosing them in warmth. He was cold. He hadn’t even realize he was cold. Now he shivered.

“Shh,” a gentle voice told him. It sounded far away. “It’s alright, sir. You’re going to be just fine.” He wanted to get to the voice. It was soothing. He struggled against the weight on his chest. “Relax.”

“H-hurts,” he managed to say, the very effort feeling like razorblades in his mouth. 

“I know,” the voice whispered, and a slight pressure was applied to his forehead. A kiss, he concluded. “I know it hurts, but you have to remain still. Your body is healing.”

His eyes opened slowly, a bright, piercing light hitting him and making him squint. His mind supplied that it was a street lamp. He blinked a few times, his surroundings finally swimming into focus. An alleyway. A dank, dark alleyway, lit only by the single lamp on the corner. What a pleasant place to die.

He closed his eyes again, not wanting to see anymore. Besides, his eyes still throbbed and the light was making them worse. He shifted minutely, realizing he was half-lying on the ground, half on something firm yet comfortable. Another body.

Flexing his fingers, he found they were still tucked into warmth, held against his chest by the body beneath him. The weight on him lifted slightly as fingers wound between his own, then settled back down, holding him tightly.

“Ianto.”

“Yes, sir,” the voice replied. Yes, now he could make out the beautiful Welsh vowels. He allowed himself a small smile. His beautiful Welshman. “I’m here.”

He sighed, using his increasing strength to squeeze Ianto’s fingers. “I died again…Ianto?”

There was a soft sigh, and Jack felt another kiss on his forehead. “Yes, you did.”

“Must have been…bad.” He shifted, wanting to sit up.

“That it was, sir. And stay down,” Ianto added, releasing Jack’s fingers to press against his chest. “Trust me.”

“Weevil?”

“Three of them. I couldn’t get here fast enough.” The last words were a bit choked, and Jack could feel a tremble go through the other man, then there was a whispered, “I’m sorry, Jack.”

The switch to his name made Jack’s eyebrows knit together. That only happened when they were intimate, Jack was being obnoxious, or Ianto was feeling especially emotional. The latter was extremely rare. Ianto tended to internalize his emotions.

“Not your…fault,” Jack told him, words still a been stilted but throat feeling significantly better. And his memory was coming back. “They’re…getting smarter.”

He felt the tension in the other man release slightly, though his hold on Jack had not. Letting his eyes blink open again he found that the light was not as intense. In fact, the street lamp was a dim yellow glow. His eyes adjusted slowly and he took a deep breath. It didn’t hurt.

“How are you feeling?” Ianto asked him, brushing the damp hair from Jack’s face.

“Much better,” said Jack, letting his free hand settle on Ianto’s leg. He squeezed, smiling as he snuggled a bit into Ianto’s embrace. “But this is nice.”

“Well,” Ianto huffed, stroking Jack’s hair. “I can think of many words for this grungy, disgusting alleyway, and nice is not among them.”

Jack chuckled softly. “I meant you and me, Ianto.” He raised the Welshman’s hand to his lips, pressing a kiss to his fingers before letting their hands settle on his chest once more. “This.”

“Oh.”

Jack wiggled his toes. He hadn’t thought to do so before. They seemed okay. He bounced his knees. No pain. He knew his arms were fine.

“I think I can sit up now.”

Ianto tensed but said, “Okay.”

With the other man’s help Jack slowly rolled to a seated position. His back felt a bit tight, but other than that he deemed he was healing nicely. Of course, he still didn’t know the extent of the damages, but he figured Ianto would fill him in when necessary.

“Were you hurt?” Jack asked him, realizing he’d not yet even checked.

“Just minor scratches,” was the reply. Jack breathed easier. “Nothing I can’t handle.”

Wanting to see the Welshman, Jack turned his head. He felt a sharp pull in his neck and hissed. Ianto immediately straightened Jack’s posture, holding his head.

“Your neck was bad, sir,” he said, resting his head against Jack’s. “Best to keep looking straight ahead, for now.”

Jack pouted, despite the pain. He wanted to make sure Ianto was okay. He was in the habit of caring for himself last. “Come here, then,” he said, indicating the area in front of him. “Let me see you.”

“Sir…”

“Ianto…”

There was another sigh and then Ianto got to his feet behind him, shuffling slowly until he was in front of Jack. Knowing he shouldn’t move his head, he waited until Ianto sat back down, this time cross-legged.

“Satisfied?” the Welshman asked, eyebrow raised.

Jack gasped, reaching out a hand to touch the other man’s face. “Oh, Ianto.”

Ianto flinched, turning his head. “Please don’t.”

Jack’s hand retreated, and he swallowed hard. Seeing what the Weevils had done to the beautiful man before him made his heart clench. There was blood on his face along a jagged tear. It extended from Ianto’s left temple down along his cheek and ended just before his throat. It would certainly need stitches, and Jack knew it should be sooner rather than later.

“You need to see Owen,” he told him, fingers itching to touch him, to make it better.

“When you’re healed.”

“Ianto, that injury needs attention.”

“I’ll be fine.”

“Ianto…”

“It’s just a scratch.”

Jack sighed. He knew Ianto would always sacrifice himself to make sure the rest of the team was okay. That Jack was okay. No one looked out for Ianto except Jack. Not even the Welshman himself.

He noticed there were other scratches, albeit much more shallow than the slice down his face. They covered his other cheek, his neck, and based on the fact that Ianto’s suit jacket was torn at the shoulder and ripped away, leaving a tattered dress sleeve beneath it, Jack was pretty sure the scratches continued down his arm.

“You’re losing a lot of blood,” he said, frowning. “We need to go now.”

“Head wounds always bleed a lot, sir,” Ianto argued, shaking his head. He winced but tried to hide it.

“Alright, that’s it,” Jack growled, gathering his legs beneath him and getting slowly but determinedly to his feet. He felt woozy for a moment but regained his composure. “We’re going. Now.”

“Jack, please,” Ianto started, but Jack put up his hand.

“Enough. Let’s go.”

They made their way back to the SUV, Ianto insisting upon Jack leaning on him as they went. He was feeling better with every minute that passed, whereas Ianto, he could tell, was feeling worse.

Jack insisted upon driving, given the blood loss Ianto had suffered, and had Ianto call Owen’s cell to ensure the medic would be able to get back to the Hub in a timely manner. He saw no need to contact Gwen or Toshiko, as he had sent them home hours ago and this alert had been his and Ianto’s to handle.

When they arrived at the Hub Jack kept an arm around Ianto, but it was more for the younger man’s benefit than his own. Making their way to the medical bay Jack took little sidelong glances at the man beside him. Ianto was making an effort not to show any outward signs of pain, but Jack knew better.

Owen made no apologies for being snarky as he pulled on his latex gloves. “You’re lucky I’d already sent my date home.”

“I think your love life can take a backseat to Ianto’s injuries,” Jack replied, folding his arms over his chest. 

“It’s not that bad,” Ianto commented, scowling as Owen hooked him up to intravenous fluids and then swabbed his scratches with alcohol.

“That would be incorrect, Tea Boy,” Owen told him, turning to rummage through a drawer. He didn’t see the look Ianto shot him. “You’ve lost quite a bit of blood, you’re dehydrated, and that wound needs stitches.”

“How many?” Ianto asked, eyes wide. Jack took his hand, squeezing it gently.

“At least twenty. That Weevil got you bloody good, mate.”

Ianto’s eyes darted to Jack’s face and then then away. Jack sympathized. He knew how much Ianto hated needles. “Can’t you use something from the archives instead? There has to be something there.”

Owen turned back with a large needle and surgical thread. “Afraid not, Ianto. There’re no broken bones to knit, just a deep wound that will easily get infected if we don’t close it up now. Lay back.”

Jack felt Ianto’s grip tighten significantly, and saw the man swallow slowly. “What about a scar?”

“I’ll try my best, Ianto,” Owen replied, swabbing along the sides of the wound with a mild anesthetic. Jack knew from experience Ianto would still be in pain. “No promises.”

“Scars are distinguishing,” Jack said, smiling at Ianto. “Real men have scars.”

“You don’t.”

Jack frowned. “Yes, well…we all know why. Believe me when I say I’d rather I did.”

Ianto met his eyes for a moment and Jack knew that for as much worry and pain he saw etched there, Ianto was able to see in his own sadness and regret. Jack would give anything to be normal. While he liked being able to take the brunt of danger, as he had tonight, there was nothing he wouldn’t do to be able to die like the rest of them.

“Alright, starting now,” Owen stated, pressing the needle to Ianto’s temple.

Ianto’s face was a world of misery as Owen stitched him up. Jack stood beside him, Ianto’s hand held within both of his own, letting the man release his pain on him. With every insertion of the needle Ianto tensed, his hand squeezing Jack’s as if it were his lifeline. By the time Owen was done – nearly fifteen minutes and twenty-five stitches later – Jack’s hand was red and throbbing. A short time later, however, the condition passed, and Jack sighed.

“Alright, mate,” Owen said, dabbing the long cut again with alcohol. “All done with that.” Ianto went to get up but the medic pushed him back down. “Not yet, you don’t. Steady fluids for the next several hours, and then you can take it easy.”

“Seriously? Owen, I’m fine.”

Owen folded his arms. “Oh really? Another thirty minutes with that wound hanging open and you’d have collapsed.”

“I’ll make sure he stays put,” Jack informed the man, settling a hand on Ianto’s knee.

“I’m not an invalid.”

“Keep him lying down,” Owen instructed, putting his supplies away and dropping the needle into the sterilizer. He handed a small bottle of pills to Jack. “I’ll be back in early to take out the IV, and then Ianto can go home.”

“I’m right here, thank you very much,” Ianto muttered. “You don’t have to talk around me.”

“Sorry, Ianto,” Jack responded, tucking the bottle into his pocket. “I’ll stay with you. Owen, go ahead and head out. We’ll see you in a few hours.”

The medic nodded and then saluted, hopping up the steps into the Hub and then heading out through the cog door.

“You don’t have to wait here, sir,” Ianto said when the door closed behind Owen. “I’ll be fine. You have paperwork to do.”

Jack raised an eyebrow. “You really think I’d rather do paperwork than sit here with you?” He pulled up the medic’s stool, bringing it around to the side where he’d been standing. “Surely you jest.”

Ianto rolled his eyes. “Silly me.”

Thirty minutes later and Ianto was sleeping peacefully. Apparently Owen had slipped pain meds into Ianto’s drip. Jack smiled, watching him sleep. He stroked Ianto’s hand before brushing his fingers through Ianto’s hair gently. He really was beautiful.

When the cog door opened and the alarms sounded, Jack was knocked from his light slumber. He raised his head from where it rested on his chest and looked around. Tosh was looking down at him from the railing.

“Good morning, Jack,” she said. “You two okay? Owen called me this morning to let me know Ianto had been hurt.”

He glanced down at Ianto, who was just starting to rouse from his sleep. “Yeah, we’re alright. Ianto and I took an alert last night. Turned out to be several Weevils and they got the jump on me. I’ve healed up but Ianto here…well, he got a pretty nasty cut.”

“I’m fine,” Ianto grumbled, sitting up and rubbing the back of his head. “But…Owen drugged me!”

“He does that,” Tosh replied, offering Ianto a sad smile. “Usually when he’s convinced you won’t take the meds on your own.”

“He knows me well,” Ianto said, looking down at his clothing. “I’m going to need a new suit.”

Tosh headed off to her work station and Jack glanced at his watch. It was a quarter past seven. He didn’t normally expect Owen in until around nine, but since the medic had said “early,” he hoped he’d make an appearance soon. Ianto, while being somewhat rested, could not be very comfortable on the metal table and he knew he was antsy.

“You could always walk around naked,” Jack offered, shrugging.

Ianto shot him a look. “Amusing, sir. I believe I have another suit stashed here somewhere.”

“Well, since I’m taking you home after Owen clears you I doubt you’ll need it.”

“That’s really not necessary, sir. I feel fine.”

“Ianto, I’m not letting you work today.” Ianto opened his mouth as if to argue. Jack shook his head, holding up his hand. Ianto’s brow furrowed but he closed his mouth. “You need to take at least a day to rest.”

“Even if Owen says I’m fine?”

“Yes, even then. But it’s not going to happen.”

As if on cue the sirens blared and the man in question made his way into the Hub, heading immediately down to the medical bay where Ianto and Jack sat waiting.

“Right then, let’s get that IV out of you,” Owen said, snapping on gloves and moving over to Ianto. He removed the line fully, then checked Ianto’s wound. “No seepage. That’s good.”

“So when can I get back to work?” Ianto asked, looking from Owen to Jack and then back again. “The Captain wants me to go home for the day.”

“That’d be my recommendation as well. I’d prefer if you didn’t drive, however,” Owen confirmed, cleaning the wound quickly with a swab. Ianto slumped unhappily. “Oh cheer up, mate. Would you rather have to deal with Gwen? She and Rhys have been fighting again and you know how she gets.”

“Moody,” Ianto acknowledged, sighing. “Fine. Sir, take me home.”

Jack smirked. “I thought you’d never ask.”

“Oi!”

They made their way to Ianto’s car, Jack trying not to look at the cut on Ianto’s face but finding himself drawn to it. While it was no longer bleeding, the stitches made it look worse. He itched to reach out and touch him, to make it better, but he knew Ianto didn’t want his pity, and there was really nothing Jack could do to make the wound go away.

“You’re staring, sir,” Ianto told him, frowning as he got into the passenger side of his car.

“Sorry,” Jack apologized, sliding into the driver’s seat and starting the engine. “Does it hurt?”

“Not too much. Whatever Owen gave me is still working.”

“Good.”

Ianto flipped down the sun shade, looking in the mirror. “Oh my God.”

Jack grimaced, not turning to look as he backed out of the parking spot. “It’s not that bad, Ianto.”

“It’s horrible,” the other man argued. “How long do I have to have these things in for?”

“I don’t think Owen said,” Jack replied, heading them out of the underground car park and on towards Ianto’s flat. “But I’m sure once the swelling goes down it won’t be as bad as you think.”

“Not so sure about that,” Ianto grumbled. “It’s going to scar. I’ll be hideous.”

“You could never be hideous.”

“Yes, Jack, I could.”

Jack sighed. He knew arguing with Ianto was always a lost cause. If the man thought he was going to scar badly then there’d be no convincing him otherwise. All he could do at this point was support him while he healed.

An hour later and they were settled on Ianto’s couch, freshly showered. Ianto had slipped into pajama bottoms and a t-shirt and Jack wore a pair of his tracksuit bottoms and another t-shirt. He smiled at Ianto. “You look more comfortable without the torn suit.”

“I feel more comfortable.” Jack noticed he didn’t return the smile. “Are you staying for the day then?”

Jack’s eyebrow went up. “For a while, I suppose. Did you not want me to?”

“No, I’d like the company,” Ianto replied. “Though I won’t be much good to you. Too tired from the pain meds.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well I can’t imagine I’ll be very entertaining. At least, not in the usual way.”

“Ianto, there’s more to life than having sex.” Jack knew the medication Owen had given him would likely inhibit his libido. He’d live without having sex with Ianto that day, and for as long as it took for him to feel better.

“Of course,” Ianto snorted, looking away. He picked up the remote control and turned on the television. “I wouldn’t want to sleep with me either. It’s not like I’m attractive right now, anyhow. Not looking like this.” 

Jack pulled the remote from his hand and clicked it back off. “I’m here as your boss and your friend, Ianto, not just as a lover. But you happen to look just fine.”

Ianto met his eyes. “There’s no need to hide it, Jack,” he said, shrugging. “I’ve seen myself in the mirror. I look like a mutant.”

“Ianto, you do not look like a mutant.” Ianto didn’t appear convinced. “And furthermore, your injury is not nearly enough to make you unattractive, so cut that out!”

“The scarring will be.”

Jack growled, dropping the remote onto the table with a thud. He moved towards Ianto, cupping the uninjured side of his face and pressing their lips together. Ianto didn’t return the kiss and eventually Jack pulled back, hurt.

“Ianto…”

“I’m sorry, Jack. Just…don’t.” Ianto got up, heading for the bedroom. “I’m going to go lay down. Thank you for taking me home. You’re welcome to stay, if you want. Otherwise you can take my car back to the hub. I don’t mind.”

With that Ianto disappeared into his room, leaving the door ajar behind him. Jack heard the rustling of the duvet and sighed. Did Ianto really think he wasn’t attracted to him any longer? Part of him was upset that Ianto would think that way, but another part of him knew it was his own fault. He’d made such a big deal out of Ianto’s looks at every opportunity, it was no wonder the man thought that Jack would be turned off by his injury. And as far as Ianto believing Jack only wanted him for sex, Jack, once again, could only blame himself.

Easing off the couch Jack followed the man to the bedroom. Standing in the doorway he took in the mass covered almost entirely by the bedclothes. Jack frowned. Ianto was huddled into the fetal position, facing the wall. He normally faced the middle of the bed, tucked into Jack’s chest. Walking to the bed, Jack turned back the covers and slipped underneath. He reached a hand to Ianto’s shoulder but the man flinched away. Jack’s heart clenched.

He was torn. While he didn’t want Ianto thinking he was no longer attracted to him, he also wanted to prove that they were more than just sex partners. He enjoyed Ianto’s company, whether inside the bedroom or out. But how could he show him that without him thinking he was no longer interested?

In the weeks that followed it only got worse. Ianto became distant, keeping their interaction at coffee time to a minimum, and he found reasons to stay in the archives much of the day. Jack knew that the Welshman had ensured by now that those rooms were organized and clutter-free. That could only mean he was avoiding him. And that really hurt.

When the stitches came out Jack tried to be there for him, moving to his side in the medical bay. Ianto frowned and waved him away, saying he was fine and didn’t need an audience. Jack started to protest but Ianto’s glare told him there was no arguing the point. Ianto was determined to go it alone.

Jack was glad the scarring wasn’t nearly as bad as Ianto had been afraid of, but that was, apparently, not an opinion Ianto shared. He found a way to avoid standing with his left side to anyone, and when asked if he was okay he would answer, “I’m alright, considering.”

It had been over three weeks since Jack had stayed with Ianto at his flat, and even longer since Ianto had stayed overnight at the Hub. After he’d sent everyone home, Jack decided he’d had enough. Determined to fix whatever was wrong, he called Ianto to his office.

“You rang, sir?”

Jack frowned at the reference. “I want you to stay here, tonight.”

“I thought we’d discussed this, sir.”

“No, no we didn’t, Ianto.”

Ianto straightened his shoulders. “Permission to speak freely?”

“Of course!”

“I’m not interested in a pity fuck, sir. Now if there’s nothing else I’d like to be on my way home.”

“God damn it, Ianto!” Jack growled, standing and slamming his hands down on his desk. “I’m not interested in that either. What did I do to make you so angry with me?”

“It’s not you, sir,” Ianto replied. “It’s me. I’m no longer the same man.”

“And what is that supposed to mean?”

“I’ve had to adapt. I’m no longer the pretty face in the nice suit. I can’t use my looks to get by anymore.”

“So that’s what you were doing before?” Jack asked, cocking an eyebrow. “You really aren’t as intelligent as you come across? You can’t recite the last ten entries into the archive log by memory? You can’t keep this team on schedule, can’t make a damned fine cup pot of coffee, and can’t put a hole through the middle of a target from further back than any other member of this team?”

“Sir…”

“And I suppose you also can’t wrestle a Weevil to the ground faster than anyone I know?”

Ianto flinched at the mention of the Weevils. “No,” he said calmly, though Jack could see his eyes had filled with tears. “No, I can’t. I think we both know that now.”

Spinning on his heel Ianto headed out of his office. Jack closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. The Weevils. So that was it. Oh, Ianto.

“Ianto, wait!” He grabbed his coat and his Webley, tucking the gun into its holster and then slipping into the coat as he hurried after the Welshman. “Ianto!”

Spinning around at the open cog door Ianto stood with shoulders squared. “I’m leaving, sir,” he said, and Jack’s heart pounded in his chest. “Please, if you’ve any decency in you at all, you won’t follow me.”

And with that he walked out of the Hub, leaving Jack standing there staring after him.

 

~tbc~


	2. Chapter 2

Jack stood in front of the plain brown door, hand lifted to knock. He hesitated. In fact, he’d stood there for nearly five minutes, trying to decide if he should knock at all. Ianto had asked him to stay away, pleaded with him, in fact. Jack felt guilty just for standing there.

What Ianto didn’t seem to understand, however, was the lengths Jack would go to in order to protect his team. That included more than just outside threats of the alien variety. Built into his very being was the need to protect his team from themselves, and that was something, Jack knew, he’d failed at before. He didn’t want to fail again.

Taking a deep breath Jack lowered his hand to the door, knocking loudly. He straightened his coat, shoving his hands into his trouser pockets. The clock in his head ticked away. Twenty seconds. Thirty. He reached out and knocked again, but the door remained closed.

He debated calling to the man through the door, but he knew the Ianto was intensely private. He wouldn’t want his personal business broadcast to the neighbors. Jack respected that, so he reached for his mobile. Unfortunately, it appeared that in his haste he’d left it behind. Wonderful.

Hanging his head Jack sighed. He had one other option, but wasn’t sure it was the right thing to do. He reached into his coat pocket, pulling out his keychain. He watched the third key from the end as it caught the light of the next door neighbor’s outside lamp. His entire team had given him a duplicate key in the case of an emergency. Surely Jack could justify this as just such a situation?

Inserting the key in the lock, Jack swallowed, turning it slowly and pushing open the door. He could see the light was on in the kitchen, and stepped inside, closing the door behind him. When he turned back around he saw Ianto standing in said kitchen, holding a sauce spoon aloft.

“An hour. I underestimated your patience.” Ianto turned back to the pot he’d apparently been stirring.

“You knew I would follow,” Jack said, remaining by the door.

“Of course,” Ianto replied, setting the spoon down. “But my guess was ten minutes.”

Jack let a smile cross his features briefly before pushing it down. “I’m worried, Ianto.”

“No need to be,” the man told him, folding his arms.

“No?”

“No.”

“Then why are you still standing in the kitchen?”

“I’m cooking, Jack,” was the reply, paired with a raised eyebrow. “What’s your excuse? Prepared to flee?”

Jack frowned. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“Then take your coat and shoes off. You know I don’t like people hovering in doorways.”

Jack nodded, removing his coat and hanging it up next to Ianto’s. He half-expected the Welshman to do it for him, as was usually the case, but he supposed he’d have to get used to doing things for himself for a while. At least until Ianto was himself again.

Untying and removing his boots Jack set them by the door, before straightening up and looking back toward the kitchen. Ianto was stirring his food again. Smelled like spaghetti sauce. It made his stomach rumble.

“Smells good,” Jack stated, edging into the lounge. “Late dinner?”

“Yup.”

“I’ll wait for you,” Jack informed him, stepping over to the couch and taking a seat. He reached for the remote, intending to watch a bit of television while Ianto ate his meal.

“So you won’t be joining me, then?”

Jack sat straighter, remote in his hand. “Pardon?”

“I believe that was English, Jack.”

“I realize that, Ianto,” Jack stated, putting the remote back down and getting to his feet once more. “I just figured you weren’t interested in sharing a meal with me.”

“I told you I wasn’t angry with you.”

“Yes, but you also stormed out of the Hub and told me not to follow you.”

“A warning which we both knew you’d ignore.”

Jack sighed. “Ianto, I’m at a loss here.”

“Sit down at the table, Jack. Please?”

He did as he was asked, brow furrowed as he watched Ianto serve up the meal. He’d been incorrect. It wasn’t spaghetti sauce at all. Ianto had made Chicken Cacciatore. 

“Wow,” Jack remarked, watching Ianto scoop extra sauce over the chicken. “Ianto, this looks amazing.”

“Good,” the Welshman replied. “I made plenty.”

Ianto took the seat across from Jack and tucked in. Jack watched him for a moment, puzzled over the man’s change of mood, before giving in to his body’s demand that he eat the food Ianto had placed before him. He took a drink of the beer Ianto had set by his plate, swallowing slowly.

They ate quietly, Ianto rarely looking up from his food. Jack let that go, figuring Ianto would talk when he was ready. Sure enough, a few minutes later, Ianto put down his fork, wiped his mouth, and looked across at Jack. Unfortunately Jack was not prepared for what was coming.

“I’m putting in my resignation at Torchwood.”

Jack dropped his fork, grabbing it before it could fall to the carpet. “I’m sorry, what?” Ianto just looked at him. Jack knew what he’d said. He just couldn’t believe it. “Ianto, why would you want to do that?”

“I’m a liability, Jack,” Ianto replied.

“How so?”

“You took me on that Weevil alert, but I gave you the wrong information. If I’d correctly noted there were three of them we’d have been better prepared to deal with them. Instead…” He trailed off, leaving the obvious unsaid.

“Instead they acted just the way Weevils act,” supplied Jack. “Just because you missed that there was more than one doesn’t mean the outcome would have been any different if you hadn’t. They got the jump on me, Ianto. That’s not your fault.”

“I should have had your back.”

“Ianto, I was the one that said to split up. I sent you around the building. That was my decision.”

“Based on my miscalculation. Therefore I’m a liability. I got you killed.”

“I came back. And you were there with me.”

“Doesn’t matter.”

“Yes, Ianto, it does.”

The Welshman picked up his plate, looking at Jack’s and then back at his face. “Are you finished?”

“With the food or this conversation?”

Ianto didn’t clarify, picking up Jack’s plate anyway. Jack watched him in the kitchen, wanting to offer his assistance but understanding the man wanted to do it himself. When Ianto was finished he came back to the table, grabbing his bottle of beer and moving over to the couch. Jack joined him.

“I’m prepared for Retcon,” Ianto said after a few moments. 

“You want to forget? How far back, Ianto?”

“To before I joined Torchwood Three. It’s a necessity.”

Jack took a deep breath. Ianto had already thought this out. In an hour? No, definitely not. He had to have been considering this move for the last few weeks. God, and he’d left him alone to brood about it. 

“Ianto, I trust you. You don’t have to do this.”

Ianto looked over at him, and Jack could see the lines that had begun to form on the younger man’s face. It was as if he’d aged several years in less than a month. Jack ached to hold him.

“I can’t walk away from Torchwood with my memories intact. We both know that. Even if you trust me, it’s not your decision to make. We answer to the Crown.”

“Don’t walk away, Ianto,” Jack pleaded, swallowing hard. There was a lump the size of Cardiff Bay in his throat. “Don’t throw out everything you’ve accomplished, everything you’ve done.” Don’t throw out us, he continued silently.

“I can’t stay.”

“Why? Just give me a good reason why. And don’t say it’s because you’re a liability, because I don’t personally feel that way. I know the rest of the team doesn’t feel that way, and you shouldn’t either.”

“I don’t trust myself.” Jack remained silent, waiting for the rest. “You may not agree with me, Jack, but I’ve let myself become distracted. It’s not professional, and Torchwood deserves better.”

“You’re referring to us, at this point, I assume?” No need to ignore the elephant in the room.

“Yes, Jack.”

“And you feel that we…our relationship…gets in the way of your work.”

“I believe it’s pretty obvious, yes.”

“I disagree.”

“Jack…”

“No, Ianto, just listen to me for a minute, okay?” Ianto stared at him for a moment but then nodded once. “I realize that this thing between us is complicated. We started out as what we’d probably both agree was just an office fling, something to release the pent up attraction we had to each other. Right?”

“Yes.”

“And over time it developed into…okay, yes, a distraction of sorts. We were both hiding from the job a bit, I admit.” He watched Ianto’s face for any signs he was off track, but the Welshman seemed to agree. “But we didn’t let it interfere with what needed to be done, Ianto. I would never let that happen, and you’re far too professional to let it happen either.”

“Do you know what I was thinking about that night, Jack?”

“The night you were injured?”

“Yes.”

“No, I don’t. What were you thinking about?”

“How quickly we could get the Weevil contained and back to the Hub, so we could spend time together in your room.”

Jack smirked a bit. “I can’t say that didn’t go through my mind. It normally does, Ianto. I’m only human.”

“Yes, well,” Ianto put his beer down on the table. He had yet to take a drink. “Perhaps if I’d been more focused on the job at hand I’d have been there to keep the Weevils from killing you.”

“Ianto,” Jack replied, placing his own bottle beside the Welshman’s. “If you were any more focused on the job I’d have a ridiculous time trying to pry you away. As it stands I can’t get you to leave the Hub until after nine.”

“You know what I mean.”

“I do, Ianto. And I think you’re being far too hard on yourself. I mean, who doesn’t think about sleeping with me?” He cracked a grin, unable to help himself. 

Ianto just shook his head, standing up and folding his arms. “If you’re not going to take this seriously then I’ll have to go above your head.”

Jack sighed loudly, getting to his feet and moving toward the other man. Ianto backed away a step, holding up a hand. Jack stopped, face falling. “You’ve been trying to push me away. Trying to distance yourself from me. From us.”

“It’s for the best.”

“And your injury, just a good way to convince yourself?”

“It’s a daily reminder, yes.”

Jack put his hands on his hips. “So, you’ve made up your mind. You’re going to leave Torchwood. Leave me.” Ianto’s eyes locked with his for a split second and then looked away. “I can’t convince you to stay?”

“No, Jack.”

“And if we simply stopped what we’ve been doing? Stopped this thing between us?”

Ianto looked back at him again. “Could you do that? Just stop? The flirting, the touches, the innuendo? Everything?”

“Honestly, Ianto?” The man nodded. “I don’t know.”

“I didn’t think so.”

“I could try. It’s just…you’re asking me to go backward, Ianto!” Jack exclaimed, letting one of his hands flail around helplessly. “You’re telling me that if we were able to go back to how it was in the beginning, the two of us not acting on our feelings, you’d stay at Torchwood.”

“It’s just sex, Jack.”

“Is that what you really think? That after all this time, I’m just shagging the office boy?”

“You could have anyone you wanted, Jack,” Ianto told him, shrugging. “You said so yourself. Who doesn’t think about sleeping with you?”

Jack hung his head. “I was joking.”

“Yes, well, I wasn’t.”

“So if you stay, it’s over. We’re done. It’s job only, from here on out.”

“Correct.”

“And if I can’t agree to that…”

“Then I’m gone.”

“With your memories erased.”

“Yes.”

“And where does that leave me, Ianto?” Jack asked, hands out, palms up. “Did you even think about me in all of this?”

“Of course I did,” Ianto replied, brow furrowing. “This is better for you, as well.”

“How do you figure?”

“You’ll have a better chance of forgetting about me sooner. You have forever. It’ll be easier this way.”

Jack opened his mouth and realized he was about to yell. His mouth closed again with a snap. He didn’t want to make this worse. He turned away from Ianto and collected his thoughts for a minute. And if he was fighting tears, he’d keep that to himself.

“You think that by leaving me now, I’ll be better off.”

“I do.”

“And in doing so you’ll be just fine, because you won’t remember me at all.”

“You won’t remember me either, given time.”

He spun around. “I will always remember you, Ianto Jones.”

“I think you should go, Jack,” Ianto told him, nodding toward the door.

“Wait, Ianto. When are you doing this?”

“As soon as possible. Monday seems as good a day as any.”

Jack felt a shudder go through him. It was already Friday night. He wasn’t ready for this. “Are you going to tell the team? They have a right to know.”

“I’ll say goodbye, yes.”

“And if I refuse to Retcon you?”

Ianto lifted a brow. “I’ll do it myself. Now please, Jack…”

Jack lunged forward, grabbing the Welshman and crushing him to him in desperation. His lips crashed against Ianto’s, and his hands clutched both his hip and his head, holding him in place. Ianto was still at first, then released a small whimper and kissed him back, opening his mouth to Jack’s tongue and winding his arms around his waist.

This kiss was needy and intense, Jack’s stomach tying itself in knots. He knew once he let go, that was it. He’d never get another chance to hold Ianto, to kiss him. He wanted to take him to bed, to show the man that they were good together, but he was certain Ianto wouldn’t allow it. Instead he just settled for the kiss, and forced all his feelings into it.

When it ended they were both breathing hard, resting their foreheads together. Jack’s eyes were closed, and he was choking down the emotion that threatened to spill over.

Ianto stepped out of his embrace, after placing a gentle kiss on his forehead. “G-goodnight, Jack.”

Jack’s eyes opened, raking over the Welshman’s face. He could see the tears pooled in Ianto’s eyes and had to blink back his own. He headed for the door, slipping into his boots and tying them quickly. When he stood Ianto was there, holding out his coat. Jack put it on, closing his eyes when Ianto smoothed down the fabric.

The door was opened for him and Jack stepped through. It was cold outside. Much colder than Jack remembered it being when he’d arrived. He turned back to Ianto, eyes pleading for the other man to change his mind. Ianto just shook his head.

Jack shoved his hands in his pockets, pulling out his keys. He hesitated, and then removed the key to Ianto’s flat. He handed it over, shivering when their fingers brushed.

“Goodnight, Ianto. See you Monday.”

“Yup.”

And with that the door closed, and Jack was left alone for the second time that night. Only this time, he knew, he had no chance of making things right again.

Jack hung his head, walking slowly to the car park.

 

~tbc~


	3. Chapter 3

With every hour that passed Jack became more and more nervous. He walked out of his office every time the alarms sounded; frowning when he saw it was not Ianto who came through the door. He took to standing and watching the CCTV, waiting for the moment the Welshman would arrive. When he hadn’t appeared by nine Jack was afraid his stomach couldn’t handle the anxiety.

“What’s going on, Jack?” asked Tosh, coming to stand by his side as he watched the team work. “Where’s Ianto?”

“I’m not sure,” he said truthfully, shaking his head.

“Do you want me to call him? It’s not like him to get here this late.”

“No, it’s alright, Tosh,” Jack replied, placing a hand on her shoulder. “I’ll do it.”

He turned back toward his office, moving to his desk and picking up his mobile. He hesitated, wondering if Ianto would even answer his call, but decided he had to try. Dialing the man’s number he waited several rings, prepared to leave a message.

“I’m on my way, Jack,” Ianto said in place of a greeting.

He couldn’t help the sense of relief that passed over him. “Alright, good,” he replied, sitting down. “Got a little…worried, Ianto.”

“I’ve picked up breakfast,” Ianto told him.

Jack frowned. “Okay. How soon till you get here?” He looked up at the CCTV but it was clear.

“About five minutes.”

“Good, good. See you then.”

Jack disconnected the call, setting his phone down and then rubbing his face. Ianto bought them breakfast? That didn’t seem like the actions of someone who planned on that being their last day. He dare not get his hopes up, however. He’d just have to wait and see.

When the cog door rolled open yet again Jack was out of his seat like a shot, moving to the railing and looking down on the scene below. Ianto entered the Hub, arms full, and Jack rushed down the stairs to help him.

“Here, let me,” he offered, holding his hands out.

Ianto smiled, handing over one of the bags. “Please, thank you.”

They held each other’s gaze for just a moment before Ianto ducked his head, moving toward the kitchenette. Jack followed close behind, as much to keep Ianto within his line of vision as to help him with the breakfast he’d supplied.

“Something smells bloody amazing,” Owen said, appearing from the medical bay. “Oi, Tea Boy, did you cook?”

“Oh, Ianto, you really didn’t have to!” Tosh added.

“That’s good, because I didn’t,” Ianto said loudly, smiling as he prepared coffee. “But I did pick up everyone’s favorites.”

“You’re amazing, you are,” Gwen cooed.

Ianto’s face colored and Jack’s heart clenched. How was he going to make it through his days without seeing this man blush? Without seeing him at all? He couldn’t stand the thought of it.

Once the coffee was finished Ianto set out the prepared mugs on a tray, indicating Jack should follow behind with the food. Ianto passed out the coffee, then pulled out everyone’s breakfast in turn. A cinnamon roll with extra frosting for Gwen, fruit with yogurt for Tosh, and a full fry up for Owen. 

Ianto grabbed their coffees and headed for Jack’s office, setting a mug on each side of the desk. Jack walked in with the food, setting it down before stepping back to close the door. It appeared Ianto wanted to talk.

Jack lifted the second fry up from its bag, placing it on his side of the desk before pulling out the toast and jam Ianto had chosen. Sitting down, Jack gave him a small smile.

“You don’t eat enough.”

“I like toast,” Ianto argued. “I couldn’t stay slim if I ate that every morning.” He indicated the food in front of Jack. 

“Are you saying I’m fat?” Jack asked jokingly, around a mouthful of eggs.

“No,” Ianto replied, smirking. “I don’t think your body chemistry would allow for it.”

“Probably not,” Jack agreed, finishing his mouthful before setting his fork down. He took a sip of coffee. “Ianto, what is all of this?”

“Breakfast, sir.”

“What I meant was…”

“I know,” Ianto interrupted, sighing. He set his toast aside. “I just…I went to see my family this weekend.”

“Oh yeah?” Jack’s eyebrows rose. While Jack had met Ianto’s family before, he also knew they weren’t all that close.

“Yeah.”

“And?”

“I told my sister I might be going away. That I’d not be able to be in touch with them for a while.”

Jack nodded slowly, lowering his eyes. He hadn’t thought of the effect Ianto’s leaving might have on them. Depending on how far back he Retconned himself, he’d be losing at least a year of his life, if not all his time at Torchwood One as well. That meant he would, feasibly, be losing touch with his sister, and forgetting time spent with his niece and nephew. He hadn’t been actively in their lives for very long as it was. He’d have to lose touch with them for quite some time in order for it to work properly.

“And what did she have to say?”

“She didn’t say anything, at first. She just cried.”

Jack looked back up, pushing his food aside and folding his hands together. “What about afterward?”

“She demanded I tell her why,” he replied, frowning. “Of course I couldn’t tell her the truth. Well, not all of it.”

“What did you tell her?”

“That I’d gotten too close to someone I worked with, and I was requesting a transfer. I told her that meant I’d likely be someplace where I had to remain undercover.”

Jack’s stomach dropped. His appetite was gone. “How did she react to that?”

“She slapped me,” Ianto said, shaking his head. “She slapped me, said she was sorry, and then told me I was being an idiot. That I should wait before making any rash decisions, and take some time away from the job.”

“Like a leave of absence?” Jack asked softly, trying not to let himself hope too much.

“Yup.”

“Sounds reasonable.”

Ianto met his eyes. “I’m pretty sure it won’t solve anything.”

“A month,” Jack suggested. “Take a month. If you still feel that working here…working with me…is a bad idea, then…we can readdress the issue at that time.”

“Rhiannon said you’d agree with her.”

“She’s a smart woman.”

“She said it’s because you’re in love with me.”

Jack’s eyes widened. “I…” He paused, swallowing. “And what do you think, Ianto?”

“My sister’s usually a good judge of character. She also always knows what I’m thinking before I say it. She told me when I got to the door that she’d known something was wrong even while we were on the phone.”

Jack smiled. “Sounds like Rhiannon is pretty sharp. Runs in the family.”

They looked at each other for a few long moments before Ianto’s eyes dropped to the food between them. “We’re not going to eat this, are we?”

“Not really hungry, no. You?”

“Nope.”

“Tell you what, Ianto,” Jack said, picking up the food and placing it back in the bags. “Why don’t I get started on that leave paperwork, and you put together anything we need in order to keep your projects running while you’re…gone.”

“It’s mostly just re-cataloguing the archives, at this point. It’s already organized.”

“Do you think Tosh could handle it?”

“I’d prefer that to Owen or Gwen, yes. Though perhaps Gwen would be best in the Tourist Office.”

“Alright,” Jack replied, standing up. Ianto did the same. “I know the forms are around here somewhere.”

“Second cabinet, first drawer,” Ianto advised.

Jack smiled. “This place may fall apart while you’re away,” he told the Welshman.

“I don’t doubt it.”

With that the man turned on his heel and left the office. Jack breathed a sigh of relief, opening the indicated drawer and locating the form immediately. Ianto kept his paperwork extremely organized. He really didn’t know how he was going to make it without him. But at least, at this point, it would be temporary.

By the time Ianto returned with a folder of paperwork just before noon, Jack had completed the necessary forms for Ianto’s extended leave of absence. He smiled at the man as he entered his office.

“All set, sir,” Ianto told him, holding the folder up.

“Me too,” Jack replied, showing him the forms.

“So…”

“So…”

“I suppose I need to sign, then?”

“Yes, right here,” Jack said, pointing to the first form. Ianto signed. “And…here.” Another signature. “And lastly, right here.” Ianto signed again.

“That’s it?”

“That’s it,” Jack confirmed, a sad smile crossing his features. He took the folder from Ianto and set it on a pile of other paperwork. “Just need to pick the date so I can fill it in.”

Ianto looked at the floor, then raised his eyes slowly. “We did say today would be the day.”

Jack swallowed. He’d so hoped Ianto would delay it. “So, starting now?”

“I think that’d be best.”

Jack nodded, filling in the date on the three forms. He put his pen down, looking back up at the Welshman before him. “Okay.”

“Don’t let anyone touch my coffee machine, sir.”

“Wouldn’t dare.”

“I’ve said goodbye to the others.”

“Alright.”

“Goodbye, sir,” Ianto said, squaring his shoulders and turning to leave.

“Ianto…” The man stopped, looking over his shoulder. “Can I…call you? Visit?”

Ianto frowned. “I don’t know, sir. That probably isn’t a very good idea.”

Jack’s chest hurt. “Okay. I understand.” Ianto turned again to leave. “But Ianto?”

“Sir?” This time he didn’t turn, just waited.

“She’s right, you know. Your sister,” Jack clarified.

Ianto nodded, straightening his jacket. “I know, sir. I know.”

 

~tbc~


	4. Chapter 4

Jack lasted exactly three days. The first day he occupied his time writing up a schedule for Toshiko, Gwen and Owen in order to satisfy the completion of jobs Ianto had previously done himself, and listening to their gripes and concerns. The second day was filled with Rift alert after Rift alert. Weevils, space junk, and everything else under their sun and others’. The third day Jack did his paperwork. There was a lot of it.

By the next morning, however, while Jack was seated at his desk preparing for the day ahead, chills shot through him. His head snapped up and he swallowed hard. Ianto had agreed to a thirty day leave of absence. Preferably it would be time for the young man to decide that his proper place was with Torchwood Three, at Jack’s side. What Jack hadn’t considered, until exactly that moment, was something Ianto had mentioned during their talk at his flat. If Jack didn’t Retcon him he would do it himself. 

Jumping up from his chair Jack grabbed his Webley, keys and mobile, yanking his coat off its hook and sliding it around his shoulders. He headed out of his office and past the stunned faces of his team.

“Jack?” called Gwen as he flew past her. “Everything okay? Where are you off to?”

“Watch over things while I’m gone, Gwen,” he told her, making his way to the cog door. “If everything’s okay I shouldn’t be gone long.”

“But where are you going?” he heard her say as he went through the door. “JACK!?”

He hurried up into the Tourist Office, ignoring the empty space behind the counter that would often be filled with Ianto’s presence. Heading off in the direction of Ianto’s flat he tried to wrack his brain for anything else Ianto had said. He wanted to believe the man would wait the thirty days before making any drastic decisions, but it didn’t sit well with him that he’d changed his mind so quickly before, including the formation of this plan over a weekend away.

There was a gnawing in his gut that told him Ianto could easily take Retcon he’d hidden away, allowing the thirty days to complete his disappearance and cover his tracks while Jack sat at the Hub awaiting his decision. The irrational side of him actually considered contacting Ianto’s sister to find out if their conversation had even taken place. The rational side of him thought he’d be thoroughly destroying any trust he’d established with the man over his time at Torchwood Three. Jack decided, instead, that the direct approach was better.

As he passed by the busy streets of Cardiff at a fast clip he wished he had simply taken the SUV. He didn’t want to leave the team without transportation in case they had an alert, however, so by foot it was.

Leaning over to rest his hands on his knees Jack tried to calm his breathing. He looked up at Ianto’s door, pondering what he’d discover on the other side. If Ianto was home, would he answer the door? Jack no longer had a key, so that option was out. He supposed he could simply call, having remembered his mobile this time, but he needed to see for himself that Ianto hadn’t taken the drug.

Making his way to Ianto’s front door he knocked loudly. He kept up a count in his head, just as he had before, only this time, before he could count to ten Ianto had pulled the door open.

“Am I to assume we’re no longer using the same calendar?” the Welshman asked, folding his arms. “I believe the agreement was thirty days. You’re only off by ninety percent.”

“Hi,” Jack managed, flustered. “Can I come in?”

Ianto sighed, shaking his head. “You’re here. You might as well.” He held open the door for Jack who quickly made his way inside. 

Jack immediately removed his boots, allowing Ianto to take his coat and hang it on the rack. He moved to the couch, rubbing his legs after he sat down. Now that he was there he realized how tired he was.

“Would you like some coffee?” asked Ianto, hands on his hips.

“Yes, please,” answered Jack, smiling softly. “A few days without it and I’m pretty sure I’m already in withdrawal.”

Ianto moved to the kitchen, pouring Jack a mug of the steaming liquid. He dropped a few chocolate biscuits on a plate and placed both in front of Jack. “Your breakfast.”

“Thank you, Ianto.”

Jack munched on a biscuit and then took a sip of coffee. He let his eyes close and moaned his pleasure. “Oh, Ianto…”

“You do realize the way you drink my coffee is obscene?”

Jack’s eyes opened and he smirked. “I can’t help it, Ianto. Your coffee is like a sexual experience.”

Ianto blushed heavily and cleared his throat. “I believe that may be harassment, sir.”

“You’re on leave, Ianto. Doesn’t count.”

Ianto seemed to consider that for a moment. “Sir, why are you here?”

Jack set down the coffee mug. “Honestly? I was afraid you had taken the Retcon.”

“Why would I do that?” Ianto asked, brows furrowing. “I agreed to the leave to think things over.”

“I know,” Jack replied, sighing. “But I…I also know how your mind works sometimes, Ianto.”

“You thought I would tell you one thing, do another, and let you find out a month later.”

“Yes.”

“Do you not trust me at all, Jack?”

Jack groaned. “Look, Ianto, I want to. I really do. But I thought everything was going well. You know, between you and me. I trusted that. And then this happened.”

Ianto was frowning, and Jack wished he had the other man’s gift for words. Everything Jack said sounded so harsh, but he couldn’t think of another way to say it.

“It’s interfering with the way I do my job, Jack.”

“I don’t think it is, Ianto. Frankly, your work has improved since this all started. Not that I really believe one thing has anything to do with the other.”

“I wasn’t there when you needed me, Jack. My head was elsewhere and I wasn’t there to protect you.”

“Ianto, that has nothing to do with us. If anything, you would have refused to leave me on my own because of our relationship, not the opposite. And we’ve been over this. I instructed you to check the perimeter. That’s on me, not you.”

“I just don’t see it the same way,” Ianto replied, shrugging. “I should have argued the point. Instead I simply agreed.”

“You had no choice. It was an order, not a request.”

“Do you know how many times I’ve watched you die?” Jack opened his mouth but realized he had absolutely no idea. He closed his mouth again, shaking his head. “Thirty-six, Jack. Thirty-six times. That’s not how many times you’ve died since I’ve worked there, just how many times you’ve died while I was out with you on an alert.”

“I’m sorry, Ianto. If I had my way you’d never have to see that.” Though, if he were honest, coming back to life in Ianto’s arms was something he treasured. Being alone was far more traumatic for him.

“I don’t think I can handle it any longer.”

Jack got up off the couch, stepping well into Ianto’s personal space and grasping his hands. “Then don’t go into the field, Ianto. Believe me, we’ll feel the impact with you not there, but I’d rather know you were safe and happy inside the hub than miserable out on alerts with the team.”

“That’s a lovely sentiment, Jack,” Ianto said, frowning again. “But I’d feel like I was letting the team down.”

“And what are you doing to them…to me…if you quit and forget?”

“Jack…”

“No, Ianto,” Jack said, cupping his cheek. “Listen to me. It might be easier for you to leave and then erase your memories so you don’t have to think about it, but we won’t be able to do the same. This scar on your face isn’t a reminder to me that I died and you couldn’t save me. It’s a reminder that you fought for me, risking your own life in the process. You’re a damned fine employee, Ianto. Strong, smart, brave, and you have heart as well. You belong with Torchwood.”

Ianto ducked his head of Jack’s touch, sighing. “All fine points for why I should stay on with Torchwood, not in a relationship with you. But I don’t believe for a moment that either one of us is capable of letting this go.”

“I want both, Ianto,” he replied, swallowing the lump forming in his throat. “I want Ianto Jones the Torchwood operative and Ianto Jones my…” He stopped, not sure of the appropriate word.

“Your what?” Ianto asked. “Tell me, Jack. What about us? What are we to you?”

“Partners,” Jack answered, standing a little taller. “You’re my partner, Ianto. I’m sorry, but I think we’ve come way too far to go back now. And if you really think I’m willing to step aside and watch you walk away from Torchwood…walk away from us…then quite possibly I love you much more than you love me.”

Ianto’s eyes widened. “Did you just say you love me?”

“Yes, damn it!” He dropped the man’s hands, turning around and walking a few feet away. He lowered his head, staring at the ground. “I told you your sister was right, didn’t I?”

“But you’ve never said the words before.”

“Neither have you.”

There was a pause, and Jack’s heart dropped a little. Maybe he’d been wrong all this time. Maybe Ianto was willing to walk away because it didn’t mean as much to him.

“I love you, Jack.”

He spun around, searching Ianto’s face. He found nothing there but brutal honesty. Smiling, he moved closer, drawing the man into an embrace. “I love you too, Ianto Jones.” He kissed the Welshman gently before hugging him to his chest. “Just please tell me that if you do decide to leave Torchwood you won’t leave me as well?”

Ianto sighed, nudging Jack’s shoulder with his cheek. “I don’t know,” he mumbled, voice choked with a sob. “I just…can’t think straight around you, Jack.”

“We’ll talk about it later, Ianto,” Jack soothed, running his fingers through the man’s hair. “For now, take me to bed. Let me show you how much I’ve missed you. Missed us.”

Ianto raised his head, red-rimmed eyes searching Jack’s. Finally he nodded, grabbing Jack’s hand and pulling him in the direction of the bedroom.

 

~tbc~


	5. Chapter 5

Jack undressed Ianto slowly, not wanting to rush this. He pressed kisses to Ianto’s stomach, to his hair-covered chest, to his throat and neck as he peeled his shirt up and off, letting it fall to the floor behind him. As his hands worked Ianto’s jeans open Jack pressed their lips together, drawing Ianto closer and slipping his hand inside the other man’s pants.

Ianto made a small sound, almost like a mewl, and Jack closed his fist around him, stroking his erection slowly as his other hand pushed Ianto’s jeans down his legs. Ianto kicked out of them, having discarded any shoes and socks he’d been wearing long before Jack arrived.

Jack’s tongue slid along Ianto’s lips, tasting, teasing, asking for entrance. Ianto opened his mouth against the assault, sighing into Jack’s mouth as their tongues stroked each other, making leisurely spirals as Jack backed him toward the bed.

Ianto broke the kiss as he sat down, effectively dislodging Jack’s hand as well, and then drew Jack down to kiss him deeply while going to work on the buttons of Jack’s shirt. Jack assisted by sliding his braces down, and unbuckling his belt. Ianto was tugging up his dress shirt and undershirt as Jack moved on to his trousers. Once they were loose his slid them off, then pulled his shirts off in one movement. 

Jack kicked off his socks, letting them fall, and followed Ianto onto the bed. They were both clad only in their pants, the thin cotton barriers doing nothing to hamper their dual arousal. Jack’s legs slid between Ianto’s, slotting them together and allowing their erections to rub against each other as they moved.

Jack kissed and nibbled at Ianto’s neck, making the other man squirm beneath him. He located the spot beneath Ianto’s ear that drove the man wild and sucked on it. He felt Ianto’s groan of pleasure before it escaped his mouth, rumbling through his chest and making Jack’s erection only that much harder.

Ianto thrust up against him. Jack needed no other encouragement and began to move against him, grinding their wet, tented underwear together. He sucked at that same spot as he did so, moving one hand into Ianto’s already messy hair and the other lifting Ianto’s leg and pressing it back so Jack could get a better angle.

“Ah fuck. Jack!” Ianto cried out, hands scrabbling at Jack’s back. Carefully manicured nails scraped down his back and warm, wet breath dampened his shoulder.

“So hot, Ianto,” Jack mumbled between sucking kisses to Ianto’s neck. “God, I’ve missed this. Missed your taste.”

“Jack,” Ianto croaked, stilling beneath him. “Jack!”

Jack pulled his mouth away from Ianto’s neck, admiring the red and blue mottled bruises he’d left behind. His, mark, he mused. He smiled down at Ianto, whose eyes were mere slits of arousal. “Yes, Ianto?”

“Please, will you fuck me now?”

Jack’s eyes darkened and he growled. “I love when you talk like that, Ianto Jones.”

The Welshman moaned when Jack sucked at his Adam’s apple, both hands digging into Jack’s hair as he slid down Ianto’s body. He licked circles around both of Ianto’s nipples, drawing the nubs between his teeth and worrying them, before flicking his tongue against them and then sucking them into his mouth.

“Oh God!”

Jack continued his downward momentum, dipping his tongue into the man’s bellybutton and enjoying his hiss of pleasure. He followed the trail of hair that shot like a dart down beneath the Welshman’s pants, nibbling the skin he passed until he arrived at his destination.

Jack rubbed his face against Ianto’s erection, his cheek stroking the cotton-clad steel and his lips pressing a kiss to the wet spot over the head. Ianto bucked upward, thrusting his groin into Jack’s face.

“Someone is extremely eager,” Jack teased, bringing a hand up to fondle Ianto’s balls through the cotton. Ianto grunted. “Mmm, yes. Very eager.”

“Please, Jack.”

Jack smiled, pulling aside the cotton and letting his lips close around one of Ianto’s testicles. He was very gentle, knowing how Ianto would react, and he was right. Ianto’s hips began moving, as if he were no longer able to keep them still. Pressing a hand to Ianto’s cock and holding it down against his stomach Jack licked and sucked at the man’s flesh. He managed to get both balls into his mouth and hummed around them, making Ianto’s head toss back and forth on the pillow.

Jack brought his fingers to his mouth, sucking and wetting them thoroughly before pressing one tip against Ianto’s opening. He licked his lips, watching as the tight pucker twitched and opened, allowing just a bit of his finger to slip inside.

Ianto moaned, one hand covering his eyes with the palm up, and the other’s fingers curling into Jack’s hair and tugging. Jack worked the finger slowly deeper, knowing just by how long it had been since they’d been together that mere saliva was not going to be enough. But before he grabbed the lube he wanted to thoroughly enjoy pleasuring his lover.

Pulling down the waistband of Ianto’s underwear Jack licked a stripe along Ianto’s cock. The hard length pushed back against his assault, and Jack closed his mouth over the head, sucking wetly and noisily, dipping his tongue into the slit to taste Ianto’s essence. 

The sounds Ianto was making above him were enough to make Jack’s own erection uncomfortably hard. It was currently digging into the duvet with a mind of its own, seeking friction or penetration or both, Jack wasn’t sure. He tried to adjust his hips but the position didn’t help and he gave up, continuing his ministrations on his Welshman, his own discomfort be damned.

Once he was able to slide two fingers in and out of Ianto’s tight hole he decided it was time for the lube. He sucked one more time on Ianto’s cock, reluctantly releasing it from his mouth with a pop as he withdrew his fingers, gaining him a groan from the man beneath him.

“I’ll only be a moment, Ianto,” Jack murmured, scurrying over to the side of the bed and opening the drawer on the bedside table. He found the lube, closing the drawer and getting back into position between Ianto’s legs.

Tugging Ianto’s pants down his hips Jack lifted each of Ianto’s legs in turn. He dropped the underwear off the end of the bed and then removed his own as well. Once they were both naked Jack slicked up his fingers with lube, sliding them back inside the Welshman one at a time. Ianto moaned his approval, hips pushing down to thrust along Jack’s digits.

Jack inserted a third finger, stretching Ianto further, and moved them apart inside of him. He was still incredibly tight, but Jack’s fingers moved with ease within their confines.

Leaning down Jack kissed Ianto hard, lips and teeth and tongues no longer gentle as each sought whatever the other could offer. Ianto’s cock was leaking against his stomach, neglected for the moment. Jack knew how it felt, his own erection now slipping against Ianto’s thigh, desperate to get closer to its destination.

Pulling back and panting from their breathtaking kiss, Jack reached for the lube again and dribbled a generous amount onto his cock. Sliding his fingers out of Ianto Jack stroked himself, moaning at the feel of his hand closing over his own flesh. He knew by the pull in his balls he wasn’t going to last very long. He’d been without Ianto for weeks, not even satisfying himself, and was ready to go.

Lining himself up Jack lifted Ianto’s legs, letting his knees fold over his shoulders as he leaned in as far and as low as he could. Ianto was breathing hard, hands clutching at Jack’s forearms as Jack pressed inside of him. Closing his eyes for a second Jack was sure he saw colors, the tightness around the head of his cock gripping him like a vise.

“Jack…Jack…” Ianto breathed in a chant, pushing down against him and letting Jack slide in deeper.

Jack’s eyes opened and he gazed down at his Welshman. “I love you so much, Ianto,” he told him, thrusting forward and burying himself inside him. “So, so much.”

“Love you…too,” Ianto said, moaning as Jack withdrew and then grunting when Jack slammed back in. “Yes...fuck me, Jack!”

Their bodies moved together perfectly, their lovemaking a practiced and well-honed skill. Jack knew where to angle in order to give Ianto the most pleasure, and Ianto knew just how to tighten himself around Jack, how to move against him in order to cause the most friction.

Ianto’s hand found its way between them and he began fisting his cock in time with Jack’s thrusts. Jack ducked his head, watching the hand as it drew up along his erection, fingers closing over the tip and squeezing just so. He watched as the head turned an almost angry shade of red, and he listened to Ianto’s breathing as it began to hitch.

The sight turned Jack on even more than he could ever imagine, his balls tightening against him and chills traveling up his spine as his release neared. He gathered his knees beneath him, pulling back until he could slam into Ianto hard, holding his legs by their ankles and watching Ianto work his cock.

When the Welshman’s arse began clenching around him rhythmically, Jack let himself go. He watched as Ianto’s hand stuttered on his cock, spurts of come shooting through his fingers and landing on Ianto’s stomach. The man’s groans of pleasure were enough to push Jack over the edge, and his hips jerked once, twice, and he was coming, hot and deep inside of Ianto.

Panting and sweaty, they rolled together until they could find a comfortable position. Jack was pressed to Ianto’s back, arm draped over his chest and knees tucked behind the Welshman’s. Ianto lay on Jack’s other arm. He held Jack’s hand over his chest. The other hand’s fingers entwined with Jack’s on the pillow. 

“We should get washed up,” Jack murmured into Ianto’s neck after a few minutes had passed with nothing but the sound of their breathing.

“We should,” Ianto agreed. Neither of them moved.

When Jack’s mobile began trilling at them Jack groaned. “That’d be Gwen.”

“She always did have the best timing,” Ianto quipped.

“I told her if nothing was wrong I wouldn’t be long.”

Ianto tensed. “You told her about the Retcon?”

Jack tightened his arm around Ianto. “No. I didn’t even tell her where I was going.”

Ianto relaxed minutely in his embrace and Jack pressed kisses to Ianto’s hairline, nuzzling the nape of his neck. He had missed this so much it was ridiculous. He was so thoroughly invested in this person that his smell, his very being permeated everything at the Hub, and made it impossible for Jack to think of anything else when the man wasn’t there.

“Aren’t you going to answer that?” Ianto asked when the phone began ringing again. “She’s bound to worry.”

“She always worries,” Jack replied. “Besides, I can call her later. Right now is about us.”

Ianto rolled over to face him, placing a hand on Jack’s chest. Jack’s hand moved to Ianto’s hip. “Are you sure you want us, Jack? No matter what?”

Jack lifted his hand to stroke his knuckles over Ianto’s cheek. “Absolutely. There’s nothing I want more, Ianto.”

“So, even if I…” He stopped, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath before he opened them again and Jack was lost in their blue depths. “Even if I decide to leave Torchwood. You’ll let me keep my memories.”

Jack swallowed. “Ianto, if leaving is what is truly best for you, I will support you. I don’t want to lose you from the team. You’re an integral member of the organization. But more than that, I don’t want to lose this. Us.” He pressed a kiss to Ianto’s lips before pulling back. “If you’re allowing me one or the other I choose us. Always.”

Ianto ducked his head, pressing closer to Jack and snuggling against his chest. “Even with this scar on my face? It won’t go away, Jack. It’s here for good.”

“And so am I, Ianto,” Jack declared, wrapping both arms around him and holding him tight. “That scar is only skin deep.”

The phone rang once again and they both started chuckling. “Persistent git,” Ianto mumbled and Jack snorted loudly.

Pulling away reluctantly Jack scooted off the bed, grabbing his mobile from his trousers pocket and flipping it open. “Harkness.”

“Jack! Oh my God, Jack.” It was Gwen. Of course. He tilted his head at Ianto, who had raised an eyebrow at him. “Where are you? I’m going crazy here, I am!”

“Just checking on something, Gwen. Calm yourself down.”

“She’s driving us bloody mad, Jack!” said a voice in the background that Jack recognized as Owen.

“Oh shush!” Gwen countered, voice muffled as she evidently covered the phone. “Jack, please, just, tell me. Is everything alright, then? Are you coming back today?”

“Everything is…” He glanced back at Ianto who was watching him silently, leaning on his elbow on the pillows. He smiled at the Welshman, nodding even though Gwen couldn’t see him. “Everything is better than I had expected. Look, I probably won’t be back today. Think you lot can handle things while I’m gone?”

Gwen sputtered. “Well, I…suppose so.”

“Good. Don’t stay too late, make sure to eat something, and do me a favor?”

“Anything, Jack.”

“Switch the alert notifications to my wristband when you shut things down, alright?”

“Will do,” Gwen told him. “And Jack?”

“Yes, Gwen?”

“If you’re with Ianto…” Her voice cracked a little and Jack frowned. “If you are, then give him my love, will you? It’s really not the same without him around.”

“See you tomorrow, Gwen.”

Jack shut the phone, dropping it back onto his trousers and holding out his hand to Ianto. The Welshman moved off the bed, taking Jack’s hand and allowing himself to be drawn into a hug.

“And what’s all this about?” Ianto asked, his voice muffled by Jack’s shoulder.

“Gwen sends her love,” Jack said by way of explanation. He kissed his forehead. “They miss you.”

“Miss my coffee, more like,” Ianto said, though he was smirking. He moved toward the bathroom. “Come along, Jack. We need a shower.”

“Whatever you want, Ianto,” Jack replied, following after him. “And then I’m taking you to dinner tonight.”

“Really?”

“Yep. Where would you like to go?”

Ianto turned back from the shower where he’d switched on the water. He smiled, leaning in to kiss Jack softly. “Doesn’t matter. As long as we can be alone.”

“I think we can arrange that,” Jack said, smiling back. He kissed Ianto deeply, then let their heads rest together. “And Ianto?”

“Yes, Jack?”

“We’re going to work this out. Just you and me.”

“Of course we will,” Ianto replied, stepping into the shower and pulling Jack in after him. “We always do.”

 

~end~

~epilogue to follow~


	6. Epilogue

Jack settled back in the over-stuffed chair they had placed in the corner of the lounge. He sighed, flexing his fingers. After five hours of rearranging furniture, moving Jack’s boxes into the flat from the Hub and some of Ianto’s out of the flat for charity, he was exhausted.

Ianto walked into the kitchen, heading for the coffee machine. “Something to drink, Jack?” he asked, holding Jack’s favorite mug aloft.

“Yes, please, Ianto,” Jack replied, smiling.

It had been over four months since Ianto had completed his leave, making the final decision to resign from Torchwood. Jack hadn’t been happy about it in any way, shape or form, but he knew Ianto had given his options careful consideration and had made the choice that would work best for him.

The team had been quite vocal about his resignation, especially Gwen. While he knew Ianto thought the team saw him as simply their food and beverage provider, with a bit of cleanup on the side, Jack knew better. He wasn’t surprised at all that the decision had come as a shock to everyone. Really, it had come as a shock to Jack as well.

Since that time, however, he and Ianto had managed to see a lot of each other. More than Jack would have expected. The Rift had been rather quiet as of late, and Jack took advantage of the lull to spend as much time with his favorite Welshman as he could. When Ianto had suggested Jack might as well move in, Jack had been caught off guard, but Ianto made some very valid points. He’d actually created a spreadsheet with the pros and cons of cohabitating and had knocked all of Jack’s apprehensions out of the water.

“Rhiannon and the family want us up there for dinner Saturday night,” Ianto told him, handing Jack the mug of steaming coffee. “Apparently Mica won an award in school and they’re celebrating.”

“Oh yeah?” Jack asked, before taking a sip of the coffee. He smiled, savoring the flavor of the brew. Ianto’s decision to open his own bakery and coffee shop was going to work perfectly. “What was the award for?”

“I’m not sure,” Ianto said, shrugging as he took a seat on the couch with his own mug of coffee. “Probably science. My niece has an amazing mind.”

“Runs in the family,” Jack remarked, winking at him.

They’d decided on the date for Jack to move his things in based on when they could both get a day completely free. That Sunday had been best for them both. Between Jack’s paperwork, UNIT meetings and calls from various figureheads, and Ianto’s meetings with contractors and coffee distributors, Sunday had been settled upon and written in stone.

“You know she’s really happy I came to my senses,” Ianto admitted.

“Me too, Ianto.”

“Do you realize she called me every few days to find out how we were doing?” asked Ianto, sipping his coffee and raising an eyebrow.

“Seriously?”

“Yup.”

Jack shook his head. He became fonder of Ianto’s sister with every day that passed. She’d fought nearly as hard as he had to make sure that Ianto understood Jack’s love for him. He had ended up calling her at one point, but not to ask about their conversation. He simply wanted to thank her for the sound advice she’d provided her brother.

“He’s a mighty smart kid, my brother,” she’d told Jack with an exasperated sigh. “But he sometimes forgets to consider his heart and lets his brain make all the decisions.”

“So we’ll head up there Saturday?” Jack asked Ianto now, wanting to confirm.

“That’s the plan. We don’t have to spend the night, though,” Ianto added. “I mean, if you want to, we can, but Rift willing, I suppose.”

“I think I can make it work. I have the overnight alerts sent to me anyhow. If it’s something minor I can have the team handle it and if not…” He waved his hand around. “We can always come back early.”

Jack finished off his coffee, setting it down on the little table between the chair and the couch. He moved to join Ianto, tugging the Welshman into a cuddle. Ianto placed his own mug on the table as well, snuggling into Jack’s embrace.

“Are you happy, Jack?” he asked, hand resting on Jack’s chest. “I mean, moving in here with me? I know you had your doubts.”

“I’m extremely happy, Ianto,” Jack whispered, kissing the man’s forehead. “I just needed a kick in the right direction, that’s all.”

“I like knowing I can come home to you every night. Well, that you can come home to me, at any rate. Your hours vary, after all.”

Jack chuckled, squeezing Ianto’s shoulder. “As will yours,” he advised. “Owning your own business won’t be a nine to five job. I guarantee it.”

“Do you think I’m doing the right thing, Jack?”

“By starting Myfanwy’s Mega Mocha?”

“Jack,” Ianto said, scowling. “I am not naming it that. But yes, I mean starting my own shop.”

“Aw come on, Ianto! It’s a great name!”

“It’s a horrid name.”

“Jones’s Jamming Java?”

“JACK!”

“There’s always the name Owen suggested: Tea Boy’s.”

“That was his suggestion? That’s awful.”

“So I told him.”

“Besides, Jack, it’s Ianto’s Corner Coffee. You know that.”

“You’re no fun, Ianto.”

“That’s not what you said last night,” quipped Ianto, sitting up and raising an eyebrow at Jack in challenge. “And you didn’t answer me.”

Jack grinned, pulling the Welshman into a kiss. When they parted Jack squeezed his knee. “Yes, Ianto,” he said. “I think it’s a great idea. Always have.”

“Even over working at Torchwood?”

“Well, for me, no, but Ianto, we’re two different people, with two different passions. You love coffee, so why not make it into a career?”

Ianto nodded. “You’d rather be chasing Weevils.”

“I like saving the world every day. Big damn hero stuff. It’s not for everyone.”

“And you don’t mind your relationship with the non-hero shop owner?”

Jack smiled softly, stroking Ianto’s face. “I couldn’t imagine being with anyone else, Ianto. And for the record, you’re my hero.”

“Well good,” Ianto said, kissing him softly and then standing. “Your hero needs you to help unpack these boxes.”

Jack groaned. “Now? We just got done moving it all in!”

“It won’t take care of itself,” Ianto told him, hands on his hips. “And if we get it done now, there’ll be more time for…other things…later.”

A hopeful smile broke across Jack’s face. “Naked hide and seek?”

Ianto smirked. “Maybe.”

Jack jumped up, heading for one of the boxes by the door. Nothing motivated him more than the idea of Ianto naked. And being able to take full advantage of their time alone without the task of having to erase CCTV footage later? Yeah, this moving in together thing was going to work out nicely.

 

~fin~


End file.
